Ain't nothing like receiving those african mails

Hey Again (oddly enough, since this is the first post - but it may keep you inticed)

Have you ever received one of those african mails, you know the ones that says we have a lot of money and all you have to do is help.
Well the fewest nowadays don't know it's scam mails, but that doesn't mean you can't have fun.

I received this a few days ago:

Reply Mail:tigbogbo@netscape.net

06/03/05

Dear Partner,

You may be suprised to received this letter from me since you do not know me personally.

I am Babuwa Tigbogbo the first son of Agbo Tigbogbo ,the most popular farmer in zimbabwe who was
murdered in the land dispute in my country.I got your contact through network online hence deceided to
write you.Before the death of my father he had taken me to johannesburg to deposite the sum of
12.000000.00 dollars (twelve million dollars)in one of the private security company in South Africa, as he
foresaw the looming danger in Zimbabwe this money was deposited in a box as gemstones to avoid
much dumorrage from the security company, this amount was meant for the purchase of new machines
and chemicals for farms and establishment of new farms in Swaziland.

This land problem came when Zimbabwean president.Mr Robert Mugabe introduced a new land act
reform wholly affecting the rich white farmers and some black farmers,and this resulted to the killing and
mob action by Zimbabweean war veterans and some lunatics in the society.Infact a lot of people were
killed because of this land reform act for which my father was one of the victims and may his soul rest in
perfect peace.

It is against this background that i and my family fled Zimbabwe for fear of our lives and are currently
staying in the Nederlands where i am seeking for asylum and moreso have deceided to trasfer my father's
money to a more reliable foreign account since the law of the Nederlands prohibits a refugee(asylum
seeker) to open a bank account or to involve in any financial transaction throughout the territorial zone of
the Nederlands,as the eldelst son of my father,I am saddled with the responsibilt of seeking a genuine
foreign account where this money could be transferd without the knowledge of my goverment who are
bent on taking everything we have got.

The south African government seems to be playing along with them,i am faced with the dilemma of
moving this amount of money out of South Africa for fear of going through the same experience in
future,both countries have similar political history and as a business man i am seeking for a partner who i
have to entrust my future and that of my family in his hands,i must let you know that this transcation is risk
free,if you accept to assit me and my family,all i want you to do for me is to make arrangements with
security company to clear the consignment (funds)from their afilate office here in the Nederlands as i
have already giving dirctives for the consignments to be brought to the Nederlands from South Africa but
before then all modalities will be put in place like the change of ownership to the consignmen(funds)and
more importantly this money i intend to use for investments.

I have two options for you,firstly you can choose to have certain percentage of the money for
nominating your account for this transaction ,or you can go into partnership with me for a proper profitable
investment
of the money in your country,which ever the option you want please feel free to notify me,i have also
mapped out 5% of this money for all kind of expences incurred in this process of this transaction.

If you do not prefer a partnership i am willing to give you 15% of the total sum while the remaning 80% will
be for me and my family also for the investment in your country.Contact me with the above email address
while i implore you to maintain the absolute secrecy required in this transaction till we put claims to the
consignment (funds).

Thanking you,and GOD bless you.

Yours Truely
Babuwa Tigbogbo

Now, why not reply I thought - here's what I got.

Dear Mr. Knickerbocker

I am most delighted by your e-mail. I could surely do with the money to buy
negerboller, hasish and to support my growing addiction to disney-heroin,
maybe you know.
Since the dawn of day, I have always thought that pecan-pie was such a fun
word, and therefore I have decided to help you, maybe I can even grow a goattee for the fun of it.
I am very sorry to hear of your troubles, and it reminds me of standing in line when the lady in front of you has bought a dozen cartons of milk(perhaps if she has a goat).
Please tell me what to do, and how I can help, and I will try and do so as fast as I can stop xeroxing various body parts.

Sincerelly yours
Willy Wonka

ps I loved you in Shrek



Well anyway, I hope the guy replies - sometimes it can take a while before the man gets it, and know that I'm just messing about.